Andrea Hidalgo

I still sing. I will allow you to hear the slightest audible notes and verses from a distance or under my breath, only to entice. When you ask for me to sing, I will refuse.

Baby Is A Banshee

Andrea Hidalgo, 2018

How can I want you, if you give yourself so openly and freely? I want to seduce you. I want you to be convinced that in that moment, you have decided that you want me because of the particular waxing moment of the moon.

How can you want me, if you are certain that I am yours? I want you to seduce me. Know that I want you because I quiver and blush at the thought of you.

I used to only sing for current lovers, past lovers, and current or past lovers of lovers. I sang love songs; songs about desire, lust, obsession, rejection, frustrations of unrequited states, heartache. I sang to seduce you all.

I have always favored narratives of lovers and disavowal. I romanticize and fetishize desire and rejection. I do not believe in desire without denial, or, at the very least, I am uninterested in desire that does not have the potential of rejection. I have denied those who expressed desire for me and I have denied myself of what I desperately want. This produces different sensations.